MARIAH

I was the one who should have kept her drink closer. Reported sooner. I should have worked on not getting my hopes up on a case that was thrown out.

It hurt what he did to me, but it almost hurt worse when you blamed, invalidated and didn't believe me. 

Things will never be the same.

Every morning I have to talk myself into the fact that you did what you did. It was on YOU. It was real and so is this pain. 

I'm broken. Gasping for air and heartbroken realizing I may never be the same. My soul is in pieces and I don't even know who I am anymore.

I'm hurting.

I can't remember all that you did, but I have your voice forever recorded on a playlist in my head that will never go away. The disgusting pleasure in my ear and your breath on my neck.

I can't fake that. 

No matter how much you try to put this on me.

I'm doing the best I can.

As broken and worn down as I am, I'm slowly picking up my pieces. I'm hopeful for the day I too, can rise from the ashes and soar. 

I'll be okay. Someday.

*Disclaimer—this isn't a case of the "stay positive" bullsh*t. This sh*t sucks and it. Is. Hell.

BUT. One day. I'll rise and I cannot wait to see how I turn out in the end.