JENNA

 

You never believe it will happen to you, then the nightmare sets in. It has almost been a year since I was first assaulted. A year since hell began. I met him at Walmart, falling for his good looks, quick wit, and charm. No man had ever shown so much interest in me and it was nice to finally feel wanted. He asked me on a date as I bought candy for my students. We went on a date after school and I kissed him. We started dating after that. Days and weeks went by as we started getting more serious, spending as much time together as possible. He told me not to tell people as they would get in the middle and ruin things, little did I know it would be him that ruined everything. He began to become possessive and hated when other guys who were my friends would text me. He thought I had feelings for one in particular. He then snapped and told me I would either stay with him or keep my friends. I chose my friends. 

Later that week he found me before school one day and told me if he couldn't get what he wanted he would just take it. I was assaulted by my car before I had to go teach my students. I had to teach that day. The next day I called off and told people that I was assaulted by someone I didn't know. It was a lie, I knew him. I had dated him. I just didn't want to face the facts, I also didn't want it to feel like my fault anymore. After that day I was assaulted two more times that week. I feared for my life, I didn't know what to do or who I could trust. I was alone and scared. 

I kept this to myself and shut everyone in my life out. I tried to handle it on my own till I couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted everything to end. I had fallen for the wrong man. I had been stupid. It was my fault. I finally went to therapy. The nightmares started. I would scream and not be able to wake up. I stopped sleeping, eating, thinking. Everything started to set me off. It wasn't until I let people in that I started to heal. 

Then he came back. Almost a year later my personal hell had found me. Once again it all felt like my fault and I tried to protect the people closest to me, but this time I took action. I fought back and finally went to the police. I changed my number. I did all I could. Even though things happen and people may not understand the entire story, the healing process can start all over again. 

From this I have PTSD, anxiety, and major depression. When I see a red truck I panic. The nightmares are back, haunting my sleep, but I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know that I have people that are standing beside me. I know this time around that I can get through this and be a survivor. He will never touch me again. 

This time the truth will set me free.