ESSENTIALS


These are some things that we love and find essential to living openly, honestly, and freely. You can learn more about each of these things separately, just order an essay, read the provided materials and ask clarifying questions.

Abused Deaf Women Are Underserved By Police

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Abused Deaf Women Are Underserved By Police

The abuse started with a few insults. When Wendy, a deaf woman, met her college boyfriend, he was popular and attractive, so she put up with the harsh way he spoke to her. Then he gave her a black eye.

’I thought it was normal, and that that was love; that it was just a part of when you care about somebody,’ Wendy, 38, who didn’t want to be identified by her real name because she has yet to go public with her story, said through a sign language interpreter. ‘Then the insults became a little bit physical, and then a cycle began.’

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE

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DO TEENS UNDERSTAND WHAT RAPE IS?

Do teenagers understand sex and consent? To find out, a group of 16-18-year-olds were shown a specially written drama about an incident to see if they could work out if it was consensual sex or whether a crime had been committed.

Sex and consent is a much discussed issue at the moment and secondary schools are introducing sexual consent lessons.

The world of sex and relationships is a difficult one for teenagers to navigate. To hear in their own words where the challenges lie, the BBC brought together 24 teenagers, 12 of each sex, to watch a drama set at a house party and debate whether rape had been committed.

Their responses are revealing.

READ THEIR RESPONSES HERE

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SEX AFTER RAPE

"Even though I married an incredibly kind and supportive man, I still spent many years crying after sex. If I enjoyed it then I felt 'dirty' and mentally told myself I was a slut. If I dissociated (as I did most of the time), I wasn’t mentally present. This would then make me feel used and broken. I didn't understand how something that was supposed to be so wonderful, and my body naturally wanted, caused me so much pain."

READ 'SEX AFTER RAPE' BY HAILEY ALLEN HERE

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SEXUAL ASSAULT AND AMERICA'S NATIONAL PARKS

"We're used to hearing stories of sexual harassment in the Army, the Navy, or within the police force; 25 years after the Talihook scandal, when scores of Marine and Naval officers allegedly sexually assaulted some 83 women and seven men at a military convention, there's a general cultural understanding of what women face in traditionally male-dominated public institutions. The agencies that protect America's natural heritage enjoy a reputation for a certain benign progressivism—but some of them have their own troubling history of hostility toward women."

READ 'OUT HERE, THEY CAN'T HEAR YOU SCREAM' BY KATHRYN JOYCE & EMILY KASSIE

 

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"WE WILL NOT AND CANNOT LOSE" BY MIA CHARD

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"WE WILL NOT AND CANNOT LOSE" BY MIA CHARD

"When I was a child I wanted three things: to be a limo driver, to be a mom, and to play professional soccer for the Argentine national team. All achievable goals, right? I thought so. To children, all things are possible. To children, being an adult is all it takes to be anything you want to be. To children, growing up seems like the grandest adventure.

What I didn’t know as a child, however, was that sometimes life sneaks up on a person earlier than it should, earlier than one deserves, and leaves one shattered and grasping for a way to hold on."

 

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE

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LISA'S RITUAL, AGE 10

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LISA'S RITUAL, AGE 10

Afterwards when he has finished

lots of mouthwash helps

to get rid of her father’s cigarette taste.

She runs a hot bath

to soak away the pain

like red dye leaking from her

school dress in the washtub.

 

READ THE FULL POEM HERE

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LENNY LETTER: TO BE A WOMAN IS TO KNOW FEAR

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LENNY LETTER: TO BE A WOMAN IS TO KNOW FEAR

To be a woman is to know fear. Walking alone at night, even in a ‘good’ neighborhood, on high alert, perceiving your own shadow or the echo of your chunky boots on the pavement as threats. The spike of adrenaline when a big guy with a wide gait walks your way, followed by the dip of relief (and then guilt) when you realize he’s just a tired citizen trying to make his way home like you are. The sense that if, no, when someone decides to invade your space, you won’t have recourse, skills, any power but your own yell.

READ THE FULL INTERVIEW HERE

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BLAME, WOMEN'S BODIES, AND RAPE

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BLAME, WOMEN'S BODIES, AND RAPE

I was talking with a friend of mine (a 20-something male, college educated, very kind boy). We were discussing the movie Divergent and the attempted rape scene that takes place. I had commented to him about how awesome it was to watch a woman say no to sexual advances and then, when the boy continues to push her, she fights back and is able to get away. It was honestly empowering. When the scene ended I actually cheered out loud! Thinking back to that victorious moment in the movie, I don’t know that I could have prepared myself for the next words that came out of my friend’s mouth. He simply said, ‘Yeah, but it was her boyfriend, that’s not rape.’ I was completely stunned. Ignorance, concerning women’s rights and rape, is, in a word, ubiquitous.

READ THE FULL STORY HERE

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HUMAN TRAFFICKING SURVIVOR: I WAS RAPED 43,200 TIMES

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HUMAN TRAFFICKING SURVIVOR: I WAS RAPED 43,200 TIMES

Karla Jacinto is sitting in a serene garden. She looks at the ordinary sights of flowers and can hear people beyond the garden walls, walking and talking in Mexico City.

She looks straight into my eyes, her voice cracking slightly, as she tells me the number she wants me to remember — 43,200.

READ KARLA'S FULL STORY HERE

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PORNHUB "SAVE THE WHALES" CAMPAIGN

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PORNHUB "SAVE THE WHALES" CAMPAIGN

"Pornhub’s 'Save the Whales' campaign is the latest effort from the site’s cloak-and-dagger 'charity initiative' to normalize porn and cover up the fact that it features categories on its site such as ‘extreme brutal gang bang,’ ’18 and abused,’ and ‘crying teen.’ Marketing gimmicks like this may make others forget what this site truly represents, but not those who are educated on the issue."

(Read Fight the New Drug's related article, PORN SITE LAUNCHES IRONIC “ANTI-DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CAMPAIGN” WITH ABUSED PORN STAR here).

 

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE

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A RECOVERY GUIDE FOR SURVIVORS

"Rape and sexual assault are traumatic experiences that may interrupt your life at home, at work, and at school, affecting your relationships with friends, family, and coworkers. This guide can help you to begin sorting out your emotions and concerns and to understand the facts surrounding sexual assault. You have survived, and now you can begin to recover. Although this process is often slow and confusing, with understanding and persistence you can accomplish a great deal. You have control over how you recover."

After Sexual Assault: A Recovery Guide for Survivors, by Safe Horizon

 

VIEW THE FULL GUIDE HERE

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MY RAPIST MIGHT NOT KNOW HE'S A RAPIST

I recently had an unpleasant surprise when a friend asked me, "How was it hooking up with ___________?"

Feeling the familiar gut punch at the name and fighting flashbacks to the worst night of my life, I replied, "Well, he raped me. So not great."

My friend was deeply apologetic for having brought it up.

They also were confused, because my rapist boasted and laughed about our encounter with friends, painting it as a fun, consensual hookup. Meanwhile, I was wrought with devastation.

There was an obvious difference in the way my rapist and I had interpreted the incident, and his response gave little indication of any remorse for the irreparable damage done that night.

A disturbing thought formed: What if he doesn't know what he's done?

Is it possible that my rapist doesn't know he's a rapist?

 

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE

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HOW YOGA HELPED ME CONFRONT THE REALITY OF MY SEXUAL ASSAULT

"When I first dropped into a regular asana practice, I had no idea the magnitude of what I was doing. I now give credit to yoga for every single one of my best qualities. It has taught me to be present, strong and compassionate. Most importantly, it taught me to love myself.

The cultivation of those qualities has brought me to a place where I am finally able to talk about a time in my life where I was the antithesis of my present self—disconnected, weak and selfish.

I was sexually assaulted in when I was 19-years-old.

Four years later, I am now able to say those words without feeling shame. Only a few months ago, that traumatic experience was still locked up inside. I have since realized that confronting it is empowering. Now, I am determined to transform it into a gift."

 

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE

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WHEN MEN ARE RAPED

Last year (2013) the National Crime Victimization Survey turned up a remarkable statistic. In asking 40,000 households about rape and sexual violence, the survey uncovered that 38 percent of incidents were against men. The number seemed so high that it prompted researcher Lara Stemple to call the Bureau of Justice Statistics to see if it maybe it had made a mistake, or changed its terminology. After all, in years past men had accounted for somewhere between 5 and 14 percent of rape and sexual violence victims. But no, it wasn’t a mistake, officials told her, although they couldn’t explain the rise beyond guessing that maybe it had something to do with the publicity surrounding former football coach Jerry Sandusky and the Penn State sex abuse scandal.

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE

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HONEY COFOUNDER SPEAKS OUT AGAINST CYBER MISOGYNY

Following Alan Rickman’s recent passing, Emma Watson posted a series of photos on her Twitter feed in remembrance of him. Each came with a quote that originated from Alan, Emma’s co-star in the Harry Potter films. One of these images in particular struck a cord among an angry Twitter crowd. The image of Rickman says: “There is nothing wrong with a man being a feminist, I think it is to our mutual advantage.”

CLICK HERE TO READ THE FULL ARTICLE

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COMEDIAN WRITES ABOUT ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP ON INSTAGRAM

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COMEDIAN WRITES ABOUT ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP ON INSTAGRAM

Same girl in all of these photos (me). I’ve had an amazing year and you’ve seen the highlights here, so these photos are an uncommon thing to share but not an uncommon issue. You may be weirded out but do read on. I have a point.

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE

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LADY GAGA OPENS UP ABOUT SURVIVING RAPE

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LADY GAGA OPENS UP ABOUT SURVIVING RAPE

When you go through a trauma like that, it doesn’t just have the immediate physical ramifications on you,” Gaga said. “When you re-experience it through the years, it can trigger patterns in your body of physical distress. A lot of people suffer from not only mental and emotional pain, but also physical pain of being abused, raped, or traumatized in some type of way.”

”We don’t want you to keep your pain inside and let it rot like an old apple on your counter, you know?” she said. “It’s like, just get rid of all that trash. Let’s get rid of it together.

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE

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SEXUAL ASSAULT AND THE PRICE OF SILENCE

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SEXUAL ASSAULT AND THE PRICE OF SILENCE

There’s no question in my mind that law enforcement in Kern County have a problem with gender,” said Penny Harrington, a California-based co-founder of the National Center for Women and Policing (NCWP) and the former chief of the Portland, Oregon police bureau.

“They have this outlaw mentality: ‘We can do whatever we want to do, we’re the police.’ And they don’t feel accountable,” Harrington added, after learning of the findings of this investigation, which includes interviews with women, including Frye, who have never spoken in public about their experiences before.

In 2009, Frye, 51, was facing a charge of driving away after injuring someone in a car accident. She had been receiving medical treatment in the jail’s infirmary for a series of cancers found on her uterus and gall bladder. Despite being prescribed a course of powerful painkillers, she was left in excruciating pain. It was at this time, at her most vulnerable, she said that deputy Lavis preyed on her: he watched her shower, he bullied and humiliated her, and he sexually assaulted her multiple times.

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE

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AN UNBELIEVABLE STORY OF RAPE

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AN UNBELIEVABLE STORY OF RAPE

The victims’ accounts were also borne out. Most had described a white man with green or hazel eyes, about 6 feet tall, weighing about 200 pounds. They talked about being tied up. They mentioned that he had stolen their underwear. In O’Leary’s house, investigators turned up a black Ruger .380-caliber pistol, a pink Sony Cyber-shot camera and a large backpack, along with wet wipes and lubrication. Hidden inside a piece of stereo equipment in his closet, detectives found a collection of women’s underwear. Trophies.

That night, Hendershot drove to break the news to her victim, the 59-year-old widow in Westminster. The woman had lost her husband to cancer the previous year. She had no family nearby. She was still emerging from the mental and physical suffering she endured during the attack. Hendershot met her at a Denny’s restaurant. She found her in a back corner, eating dinner alone.

’I walked in, and she was super happy to see me, and I told her. I mean, I get shiver bumps thinking about it, just even now,’ Hendershot said. ‘I told her, I said, “It’s over. It’s over. We have him.”‘ By early March, a forensic computer specialist cracked into files that O’Leary had stored on his hard drive. He found a folder called ‘girls’ — and pictures that O’Leary had taken of his victims in Golden and Westminster. Galbraith recognized them by sight. But then Galbraith stumbled across an image of a woman she didn’t recognize. It was a young woman — far younger than the Colorado victims, perhaps a teenager. The pictures showed her looking terrified, bound and gagged on a bed. Galbraith felt sick. How would she identify her? How would she find justice for her?

After looking through the images, she found an answer. It was a picture of the woman’s learner’s permit, placed on her chest. It had her name. And it had her address.

READ THE FULL STORY HERE

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