anonymous

 

We were both a part of our local music scene. He was a self-taught producer and DJ. I was a singer/guitarist/music school drop-out. It was, for him at least, lust at first note. I knew I was not exactly straight, but I thought maybe a heterosexual relationship could "fix" me.

The first time he called me his girlfriend, it was in the aftermath of the first time he tried to rape me. The second time, he succeeded. In between the two, I gave up music, pawned my guitar, and stopped singing in church.

It's been almost four years and I haven't seen him since the second time. We broke up via restraining order. It was the only thing besides a medical exam I got out of reporting it.

I bought a new guitar a few months ago and I'm surprised how much it helps. I thought it would remind me of him more. I haven't worked up the courage to re-enter the music scene, but it's progress.